i have never seen a post with a plot twist like this before
This is the exact mix of wonderful and awful parenting I expect most tumblr users will display in later life.
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense
pluto is smaller than russia. why did we ever even consider it a planet?
BECAUSE IT’S A PART OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM
OHANA MEANS FAMILY
FAMILY MEANS NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND
I’m eating my painkiller pills like m&m because I can’t bear the pain.
Imagine when your tooth makes your ear hurts and you got a serious headache because of it.
I can.. I also became sick with fever every time the fucking tooth moved, but my dentist didn’t want to pull it, said…
I know right ! My wisdom tooth is popping out and it hurts. My dentist gave me the antibiotics and painkiller and she told me if the surgery will be on next week. It’s just so so so painful and I feel like I need a gun to shoot the wall or something.
Two bodies were found in the Yangtze River, China with their hands entwined together in red twine. The couples’ family did not agree with the marriage, so the lovers took their lives.
Y’all could have just gotten an apartment together on the other side of town goddamn it ain’t have to be like this.